Dissociating from the Present

My Sacred Space blog

What brought me to launch MY SACRED SPACE? My personal experience with detachment.

Through most of my childhood I lived in my head, thinking deeply about anything and
everything.

But the result of constantly living “up-top” is that I gradually became disconnected from
my body. My brain was wound up in excessive worry about the future, and the physical
world moved further and further from view, until I ended up living behind a fog.

There were times when the fog lifted, only when it felt safe to do so. But the real
breakthroughs happened when I tapped into the present moment, bringing a greater
awareness to my body and its relationship to my surroundings. The worries of the future
melted away here, and the air was palpable with a soothing stillness that can only be
found in the here and now.

Our minds and bodies are constantly responding to external stimuli, and what we feed them can create our inner experience.

It is by creating a safe and nurturing environment that I believe will lead us to this
stillness, and ultimately, peace.
That is the intention for MY SACRED SPACE; to help you find your way back to the
present moment by crafting your own space for rest, reflection and retreat.
Because if our minds are always in the future, have we ever truly lived?

——-

Below is a poem I wrote for all those experiencing dissociative symptoms:

Do you see me? Am I real?
I can see, But I cannot feel.

Life happens around me, But it feels like a dream. Why can’t I connect?
I just want to SCREAM!

My surroundings are blurry,
Unrestrained by my skin. I’m not sure where I end, And the air begins.

You say I look blank, Well, you would be right. I really can’t shake this, Try as I might.

Masking my vision,
A fog, a veil.
As much as it scares me, I’m DESPERATE to feel real.

Sometimes it lifts,
Only when I feel safe, In the Present moment, I don’t feel out of place.

Getting out of my head helps, And into my body.
To be still and grounded, Just to be in my physicality.

I wish you could feel this,
Try to understand what I see. I’ve been hiding it forever,
You didn’t notice this about me.

I’m sure there are others,
Who live in this realm.
When trauma comes knocking, We withdraw from the helm.

You don’t know their suffering,
The reasons they hold back.
But I know they would appreciate, If you cut them some slack.

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Nichola Hayler

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